Truth Behind Every Smile

Let me ask you a question. "What will you do and how do you feel when someone you think very nice and very close to you suddenly talk bad things about you behind your back? Will you just pretend that you don't know? Will you ask him/her the reason(s)? Will you do the same thing to them? Will you feel you're not worth to live anymore? Will you turn into an whole new different person and slowly go away from them? Or what?

Well for me, I'm gonna try to make distance with them. Not to far, but just small distance and make sure that they don't realize it. Just act cool infront of them and try not to do the same thing 'cause its a really awful thing to do, and I'm trying to be a good person eventhough I often made a lot of mistakes. I also don't want to play fire with fire, 'cause I might get burned. Let them laugh and talk anything about me, but just FYI karma does exist and your life just like a ferris wheel, once it goes up always comes down.

Expressions that really describe them is..............coin. Coin has 2 sides, just like them. Not 2 sides but two-faced. Nice, friendly, caring and loving person infront of you, but when you turn around.............they aren't the same person anymore. Every single day, there's always at least one person who become a "coin" and I have to face another day with them whole day long. It's hard, I'm tired of their attitude. They're not always respect others but dying to get respect from other. Isn't that kind of selfish?

Rough time in High School. Rough time being a teenager. Or is it just me who haven't truly understand the "grown-up" world or the "dog-eat-dog" world. Maybe I'm not ready to grow up way too soon. Maybe I need more time to enjoy my childhood. Maybe what my dad said was right. I'm not a teenanger or an adult. I forever and always will be his little girl who running around, laugh, do anything I want and didn't even care about everything around me, cry and mad just because someone broke my toys or lost my crayon or even didn't get the new collection of Barbie doll.

Life seems easier back then. Then why kids want to grow up so fast? Why do they want to get involve or feel  my kind of situation? I should build a time machine and warned myself back in 2000 about what will I feel in the future

Your eyes shines brighter

It's been..........months since the last time I saw you. You don't know the pain I carry on everyday, every hour, every minute. So many things I want to say to you but when I get a chance, everything went black. I can't even remember what I want to say. But when that chance is over, everything goes back to normal.

29.01.2102

Supposed I talk and discuss lot of things with you, but as always.........I can't remember a thing. But that short, unimportant, going on loopty loop conversation made me sing.........

If only I have the guts to tell him this. And if only he tell me this one too. World would be a better place

Some People Change, Few Don't

Some of my friends are different from what they used to. Not physically, but more about their personality. In a good way of course. Some of them turn into "easy-to-get-friends" person or easy to hang out every friday or saturday night. Some of them become captain or leader of their school clubs. Some are more talkative than before. Some...........well remains the same actually, still like to study and consider thick textbooks from their school library (or from bookstore) are just light reading. Some become more famous on cyber world, twitter to be exact.

As for me, I don't change that much. I'm still the old me who prever reading traveling or fiction novel than physics textbook; who loves to chill on couch and watch tv all day than walking around the neighborhood; who enjoy writing blog and call it my own diary (I can't keep a diary in my room, I prever typing than writing with my own hand. Also, my mom would easily find it and read it. Probably she will turn from gossip tabloid to my diary book. It's just........horrible); who still take things easy, especially when it comes to school stuff (or any other stuff, it's just too many); who still hardly speak infront of people (come on, even speaking infront of 8 students and 1 teacher in my EF class is so damn hard, I only speak if its necesarry); who still sing and act like a star in my room or bathroom (creepy me); who still secretly adore the same boy since 8th grade, "do stalk his twitter timeline everyday" is one of my motto (do we even allowed to have more than one motto?); who still don't know what to do and what I want to be when i'm older (let's say........5 to 10 years from now).

See, I'm still the same me. Haven't change a bit. Well except with my hair, height, and weight. Others is still 60% same.

I Love...................New Year

cc:  PicturesandQuotes

*with a little twist*

By the way.............

Today is the first day of 2012. The first day to start everything all over again. It's like the second chance to make everything better again. Already make a wish-list or a to-do-list for this year?. This is so far my list and wish:

To be better

Study harder

To live more healthy

To be more happy

Stop complaining, start enjoying life

More praying, less playing

To take things seriously (although it's okay to joke around, just little bit)

Family and friends are still around

World peace

Those issues about "World Ends" aren't true

Basicly, enjoy your life in 2012 :)

Gloomy Gloomy Wednesday Night

Currently listening to these songs by:

James Morrison

Broken Strings:

You can't play our broken strings

You can't feel anything

That your heart don't want to feel

I can't tell you something that ain't real

Oh, the truth hurts and lies worse

How can I give anymore

When I love you a little less than before?

*truth? I never love you a little less than before. Maybe there are times where I'm (let's just say) a little bit forget you for a moment. But you never really away from my mind. From my heart*

Christina Perri

A Thousand Years:

I have died everyday

Waiting for you

Darlin' don't be afraid

I have loved you for a thousand years

I'll love you for a thousand more

*well, since I've (secretly) loved you for about 2 years, 998 years to go*

Katy Perry

The One That Got Away:

And in another life, I would be your girl

we keep all our promises, be us against the world

And in another life, I would make you stay

So I don't have to say you were the one that got away

The one that got away

*(perhaps) I'll never be your girl. I'll never get the chance to make you my boy and make you stay. So basicly, you're already got away before you even started get in my life*

The gloomy wednesday night is officially begin.........

Thank God tonight isn't Saturday night, otherwise it would be very pathetic for me (you know why)

22nd December, 2011

2 nights ago was literally the............well you can say "the best girls night out ever" OR "the best meeting another old friend ever." It happens at the same time

Let me tell you the story:
So, one of my dearest friend, T asked me to meet her at one of the mall in Jakarta. After school, i went home, change my clothes and then flew to meet her. Soooo excited because we haven't met for like months. We didn't have any clue what to do cause we didn't make a "what-to-do" list. So we just walked around without any purpose.

That's sounds like usual right? just walking around with one of your good friend? But you have to know whats happen during it.

We talked about wanted to meet our other friend, A. He's.......well let's just say my "crush", or used to (perhaps) and also our good friend. Like 2 minutes after talking about meeting A, he walked and smiled right to us. Typical teenage girl when she meets her crush, they always like "OMFG WHAT SHOULD I DO, IS MY HAIR OKAY? DO I LOOK GOOD? WHAT SHOULD I SAY TO HIM? OMG THIS IS SOOOOO NOT HAPPENING RIGTH NOW." He says 'Hi' and we talked like only 5 minutes (or less) because he wanted to go somewhere else and I didn't know what to say. Then he walked away. He ended our flash-meeting with a smile. Cute little smile that would make you feel like you're and ice cream under the sun.
T and I were just laugh and talk about it whole time. Both of us didn't believe it. One moment we're just talking about him and then we met him. God knows how to pleased us. Thanks you soooooo much, I wouldn't forget about what happen that night.

But its sucks, I've tried so hard to "forget" him but then we...........AAAAAAAAA
Like Allstar Weekend say:
LET'S BLAME IT ON SEPTEMBER, 'CAUSE IT HURTS TO REMEMBER....................

But for me its:
LET'S BLAME IT ON DECEMBER.....................
'cause you know, it happens on December not on September du'uh

You're just too adorable

Okay, so I do my daily activity which is watch bunch of music or stupid videos on youtube and i found this:

Lovely Owl

YOU REALLY NEED TO SEE THIS VIDEO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

aren't the cute or what? To  MrNuraT who post this youtube, I salute you. They are "ADORABLE." I just want to squeeze them now if i can, OMG. To be honest, i've never seen such cute animal like this before. 100% never-ever-EVER touch an owl before.

Invisible

You totally need to hear this song like ASAP.

Invisible - Skylar Grey

This song is almost the same like my own life-story. well except in this song she wants to be thin, dyed her hair and cut her own skin (YUCKKKK). But i'm already thin, I don't want to dye my hair and totally not interested in "cutting off my skin". That's just............EWHHHHH.
But the point of the song is almost the same. Its what I feel right now.

These lyrics gets my attention since the first time I hear it

I believe most of you felt this way before. I did too, especially since I become a teenage girl. It sucks, I know. Sometimes you just want to be someone else or you'll do anything to make yourself perfect. But as i read a quuote on twitter "if you want a perfect girlfriend, go buy yourself a barbie." That's prove that there's no such thing as a "perfect" person in this world. What makes us perfect is our imperfection. We just have to believe in ourself that we're perfect. Don't try so hard to make you look good. We have to thankful to God. His creation is perfect, especially human.